My Date Cannot Be This Cute
by Not A Bagel
Summary: /r/RWBYOC collab fanfic. [Prompt] Yang and Neo hit the Town! Written by myself and /u/chumsmash this is a tale of unlikely romance after utter hate. I have no idea why chum had ruby mastermind this date; I guess she's wanting alone time with Roman. That, or mind control. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Yang waited on the park bench Ruby picked out, her arms crossed as she eyed the small shop nearby.

_Some bottled courage wouldn't be too expensive._

She would rather be anywhere else, but Ruby's constant nagging had worn her down until she agreed to give this blind date a chance. The fact that the date came with a sweet necklace thrown in didn't hurt either.

"Hello Yang!" a person cried out, far too cheerfully for Yang's liking. Her eyes narrowed as she found the source. The other person skipped happily towards her, coming to a stop directly in front of her.

"Ready to go?" Neo asked, her brown and pink eyes opened wide.

"This has to be a dream..." Yang began.

"Don't be so silly - we'll be late for our date if you don't hurry up." Neo replied.

"What." deadpanned Yang.

A numb sting went through her head that forced her to close her eyes once again.

_Was I drinking last night? At least that would explain how I got into this situation._

"Yeah silly, our date! Don't you remember?" Neo said.

_Ruby didn't say anything about Neo._

"Uh... Yeah. I remember." Yang lied. "Where should we go?"

_Ruby is going to pay for this._

"I was thinking we could go get ice cream!" Neo buzzed

"Of _course_. Why did I expect anything else..." Yang replied

_This is totally a dream, she's mute right? She's mute and I'm dreaming... Oh god what if this is real?_

The two walked down the street, Neo walking along happily, and Yang buried in her thoughts. _Why can I hear her? This isn't right. She's supposed to be mute. Is it mind control? Some sort of brain implant? Oh God, what if I was drugged and experimented on?_

As she fretted about her situation, Yang slipped into her habit of running her collarbone whenever she was nervous. It was then that she felt the necklace Ruby had given her the night before. As she felt the beads, she looked over at Neo.

The exact same necklace was wrapped around her neck. Yang let out to a sigh of relief as she put the pieces together.

"Neo, could you please buy me a handbag... I know Roman gave you money to look after me." It physically hurt to pretend to go along with this.

_Wait, what? How would I know that? Why would I go along with that?_

"Sure, I'll be right back Yin Yang." Neo grinned

_Oh she did _**NOT** just…

Suddenly an explosion racked the handbag shop.

Citizens poured out of the shop screaming as the sound of explosions interrupted the quiet afternoon.

The inside of the shop was a disaster area. All that could be seen through the thick smoke was swift glints of yellow dust and pink hair.

"Come here you little brat!" Yang roared as she threw another punch. Yang could hear Neo's laughter as she easily sidestepped Yang's strike.

"Happy one hour-aversary!" Neo sang. The bag was wrapped around her arm.

_How the fu-_

"She has an accomplice!" Someone screamed.

Detectives pointed guns in her general direction.

"_Time to go, to go, right now!"_

She was never one to argue with her instincts.

Police swarmed.

Yang ran after Neo swearing horrific vengeance.

Neo sprinted down the street, laughing maniacally as she was followed by Yang and half of the Vale police force.

Shots were fired, they missed.

It was all very Blasé by Neo's standards.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Yang yelled at Neo, who was incredibly fast for someone so short.

Without even breaking her pace, Neo wheeled around and back pedaled to face Yang. "Oh honey, it wouldn't be a date if we didn't have a little fun, would it?" she said.

Yang tried to punch the midget and instead found herself a half inch above a swimming pool.

A resounding splash was followed by... a slight outburst.

_"I am going to KILL YOUUUUUUU"_ She screamed.

Neo giggled as she sat in a chair beside the pool, her legs crossed and her parasol shading her from the afternoon sun.

"You looked a little hot, baby, so I decided to cool you off a bit. I must say, you are quite stunning when you're angry."

Neo was in the lifeguard chair, wearing what looked to be Yang's swimwear.

It was not the correct size.

"_Are you stealing my clothes you little perv!?_" She roared, flailing around in anger

Nothing sparked her rage like the way Neo shook her finger; "Uh uh uh, honey. You might want to check what you're wearing before you get out of the water," Neo teased.

"What are you talking ab..." Yang trailed off as she looked down. Through the water, she could see she was wearing a pink and brown bikini that was far too small for her.

"Give me my clothes back!" Yang screamed.

"Oh but your clothes are so warm. And smell sooo nice." Neo teased.

The smile on her face was well... psychotic.

_I really hope this is a dream and Ruby is going to wake me._

"Now if you ask nicely we can have fun!" She smiled.

_Probably Murder instead of armed robbery this time – wouldn't want to be boring after all._

Yang stood rigid in the pool, her fists clenched tightly at her sides. She breathed heavily, contemplating her choices.

_I want to wipe that smirk off her face so bad. But going along with her may help me escape this insanity_

"Fine. Can we please do something fun?" Yang said, defeated.

"Yes!" Neo squealed. In an instant, their surroundings changed. The first thing Yang noticed was that she was back in her normal clothes.

Then a volleyball collided with her face and hit the floor with a loud thud.

A klaxon sounded - a scoreboard showing 1-0 to "Neophytes"

_"What"_ Was becoming her favorite word.

Laying on her back, her head still swimming, she looked up to see the familiar pair of brown and pink eyes above her, filled with worry.

"Yang, are you okay?" Neo asked softly.

"I. Am going. To kill you." Yang snarled as she got up onto her feet.

A whistle blew and a point was awarded to the Neophyte.

She turned to begin arguing with the umpire "How can you rule a professional foul? All I did was…."

She was staring at Ruby in a striped shirt;

_Wait, Ruby's eyes are silver - not pink._

"Damnit Neo don't you dare imitate my sister!" She roared

"Ok Ok Ok." Neo grumbled.

Instead a scantily dressed Blake replaced the fake Ruby.

_"THEY WILL NEVER FIND YOUR BODY!"_

She served a _little_ too forcefully - Neo was sent flying from the impact.

**1 point to the Beacon Bruisers!**

_Yeah! Eat it! How do you like me now you little…_

Yang's eyes softened when she saw that Neo was crying. Her small frame shook as she sobbed on the floor. Yang walked slowly over to her, the net untying itself to let her pass.

"You okay?" She squatted down to check the damage.

Neo looked over her shoulder, sporting a black eye which would scare an ursa.

Yang could see the hurt in her eyes as tears streamed down her face. "No," she said as she began to cry harder.

Yang hefted Neo onto her feet and hugged her tightly. Neo was surprised at first, but returned the hug, sobbing into Yang's stomach. Yang stroked Neo's hair. "It'll be ok. I'm sorry."

Yang held the sobbing child for what seemed like hours.

Neo had actually fallen asleep on her lap.

The scene around them began to fade and it seemed they had never left the deserted park bench Ruby marked as the meeting place.

_What._

Deserted park + unconscious girl with black eye = **Trouble**

Yang shook the girl lying in her lap. "Neo. Wake up."

Nothing happened.

A pair of police officers walking down the street spotted Yang and headed towards her.

"Neo. Neo. C'mon Neo. Wake up! NEO!" Neo stirred but still didn't wake up.

"Hey, what're you doing over there?" One of the officers called out.

_Crap_

_Well... she's smaller than Ruby. I can handle this._

Heaving Neo over her shoulder like a sack.

_"Shoot self for using that word to describe unconscious child."_ Yang thought

She ran as fast as her legs would carry her deeper into the park.

She ran and ran and when she felt like her legs would give out, she ran some more.

_This forest goes on forever._

_Wait._

_We weren't in a forest._

Yang stopped and looked around her. The tall trees loomed over her and there was no sound of cops chasing her.

Most importantly, Neo wasn't on her shoulder.

"Neo, you have got to be kidding me." She growled.

"You knocked me out!" The tree next to her turned into a pouting Neo.

"You kidnapped me!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"You were still on the bench!" She stuck her tongue out.

Yang's temper flared and she grabbed Neo's tongue between thumb and forefinger.

_Oh my gosh, that actually worked._

Yang glared at Neo. "I swear on my life that if you don't stop this right now, I will rip your tongue out and leave you here bleed to death," she snarled.

Neo stared at Yang, a glimmer of fear behind her now silver eyes. Yang may have left Ember Celica at home, but she was still very strong and more than a little pissed off.

Yang started to walk away from the brat.

_Why on earth did I ever think Ruby would set me up with someone cute?_

Neo appeared in front of her "Wanna get a burger?"

She hesitated, the tiny girl fidgeting and making circles in the dirt with her foot; "No illusions - I promise."

Yang glared into Neo's eyes, searching for any sign that she was lying.

_I've been through this much, I deserve a burger at least._

"Fine," Yang said finally. "But no tricks, promise?"

"Promise." Neo smiled as the world changed again.

They were outside the Burger Barn.

"You said no tricks!"

"I teleported us so we didn't have to walk... totally different." She smirked

They entered, Yang ordering her usual Uberburger. Neo however looked skeptic, sporting a cute little pout.

She opened her mouth.

"No they do not do ice cream burgers." Yang supplied.

The pout returned complete with huff.

"They should make everything ice cream." she grumbled

_Tonight has been a weird night._ Was all Yang could think.

Neo ended up ordering three milkshakes, one vanilla, one chocolate, and one strawberry. She had finished the first two and was halfway through the third when Yang decided to ask the question that had been bugging her all day.

"Neo, why are you mute?"

She simply cocked her head and chose to continue drinking her milkshake.

Yang felt her temper rise a little.

_Fine two can play at this game._

Her eyes bored deep into Neo's as an intense silence filled their booth.

A waitress was going to stop by and ask if they'd like anything else but turned away at Yang's expression.

Yang took a deep breath and decided to take a different approach. She grabbed Neo's hand.

"Neo. Please, after all you've put me through tonight, you could at least make it up to me by giving an answer to this question," she said, gently rubbing the back of Neo's hand with her thumb.

Neo said nothing and looked up at Yang. Yang was taken aback by the amount of pain she could see in Neo's eyes. The world melted together and solidified itself again.

* * *

><p>They were standing in a small bedroom. Yang started as she realized the house was in ashes. She looked over to see a girl lying in a pool of blood. There was a shard of a mirror lodged in her throat. Her dual colored eyes looked lifelessly into the night sky.<p>

She heard footsteps, soft and seemingly close by.

_"It's like the crunch when you walk through snow"_, Yang thought.

Then she realized what they were standing in. Neo's eyes were shut and she hugged Yang's arm.

Yellow dust hovered in the air around them, dancing like fireflies, but there was no joy there - no life.

The blonde shivered as a young Roman Torchwick stepped _though_ her.

The redheaded thief looked horrified - he fell to his knees next to child-Neo.

The child stirred and reached up to the sky.

Roman started crying, apologizing as he began to try and save her life.

All child-Neo could do was wheeze, but she kept looking to her right - her mouth forming the word "Mommy"

Roman continued to try and save Neo as the illusion faded back to the Burger Barn.

* * *

><p>Yang was paralyzed with shock as she stared into Neo's eyes. A single tear formed underneath Neo's pink eye, and slid quickly down her cheek.<p>

If it wasn't for the table, Yang would have grabbed her and held her as long as she could. She couldn't stand seeing people in pain.

It all made sense now.

The muteness.

The illusions.

All just a reflection of that pain.

She could almost hear the crunching of footsteps through the black snow.

_Snow will never be the same._

All of it was because of that day, as Neo lay dying on her bedroom floor.

Yang felt as if her heart would tear in two. She began to cry with Neo as the world shifted again.

They were sitting underneath an oak tree, the crickets chirping as the sky finished its descent into darkness. The stars twinkled as the shattered moon shine brightly in the sky. Neo turned and buried her head into Yang's chest, her hands digging into Yang's back.

_Wow. This is so beautiful._

A lake flowed somewhere behind the huge trunk. The sounds framing the picture perfectly. A firefly flew in front of Neo's half shut eyes – playing strange tricks with their colour.

They both giggled and sighed in unison.

_Being able to get away from it all at anytime. Pretty cool._

She shut her eyes and let her weight rest fully on the tree whilst Neo tried to catch the firefly.

_Still not as cool as my semblance._

Yang had an idea on how to turn this date around.

She had to be casual though.

"It's a shame we got distracted earlier... I was going to destroy you at volleyball."

Neo made a noise, air rushing into her throat. The smile seemed to suggest it was an attempt at a giggle.

She much preferred the silence than the illusionary talking. It just felt more genuine.

_Thank god she stopped pretending to talk. Her illusion voice is creepy._

"First to 10? I believe you were up 2-1" Neo nodded and they were back to the court as if they never left.

Yang couldn't help notice she was in a _very_ skimpy sports uniform this time.

A cocked eyebrow only got her a shrug in response.

Yang dominated the game. No one on the other team could even touch her supercharged spikes.

Throughout the game, Yang made sure to put on a show for Neo outside of normal play. She made good use of her outfit and made sure to show off some of the more... feminine parts of her body. Each time Neo would just giggle and blush.

Seeing the small girl smile brought immense joy to Yang's heart. She vowed to do everything in her power to make Neo happy, no matter the cost. It was the least she could do.

The game was over.

The coach; _(who looked remarkably like Roman Torchwick but with bunny ears) -_dunked Yang with ice water.

_Well of course he did._

She swore that she saw a camera flash from one of Neo's team.

Suddenly they were back in the diner and Neo stifled a yawn.

"I will never get used to how trippy that is." Yang thought.

_Wait, did I say that __**OUT LOUD**__?_

Neo couldn't help but make her little giggle noise.

They left the burger barn; linking arms as they strolled through the park under the shattered moon.

"I think Ruby _did_ set me up with someone cute." Yang winked to her date as they headed for more adventures on the town.

"Now for my kind of fun, Neo" She grinned.

_The night is very, very young._


	2. Chapter 2

Yang fidgeted with the beaded necklace around her neck, while Weiss continued to go on about the proper form of applying for official leave of absence to Ruby. Her little sister was dead set on doing things by the book and official, but the heiress had absolutely lost the team leader in the quagmire of 10AF forms and CO2E folders. Honestly, her suggestion that they all just not go to class on Thursday was every bit as viable. She honestly couldn't wait for the movies.

Blake was leaning against her side, head against her bicep. It wasn't anything romantic or anything, much to Yang's annoyance; but she just kept reading absolutely oblivious to the inter-party conflict. It was so tempting to scratch behind her cat ears when she was so focused, they twitched in reaction to whatever she was reading at the time - the time she read a horror fantasy novel was a particularly entertaining day.

The clouds had begun to clear though, so maybe they could do something now that class was finished… dinner? Would offering seafood be racist? She fidgeted with her necklace harder, tugging at it while Ruby seemed to shrink before the onslaught of Weiss' lectures.

Her scroll vibrated, but she ignored it for now. "Hey Blake. You wanna grab some dinner tonight?" If her ears didn't twitch Yang wouldn't have even known she'd heard. It seemed like an eternity passing as she waited on the reply, so she followed with. "Get us away from the planning committee?"

She hummed against Yang's arm sending a little vibration up it. "I think I'm going to take a shower soon Yang. Would you bring me back something if you head into town?" The denial, however polite was an absolute pain. She tried her best not to think of all the times she'd let boys down gently with a "I'm washing my hair" excuse. Was Blake doing the same to her?

"Yeah sure." She grabbed the keys to Bumblebee, getting up so suddenly that Blake fell over onto the mattress with a thwump. The arguing couple took notice of her bizarrely quick movement hell it was really uncharacteristic of her.

"Are you alright sis?" Ruby asked sweetly, her face the very image of concern.

"Where are you going anyway?" Weiss prodded, her face the very image of annoyed curiosity. If that was even a thing.

"Just going to drive into town. Too nice to stay in the dorm, right?" She smiled, hoping her irritation wouldn't show. Ruby seemed suspicious for a moment, her big silver eyes flicking to Blake before she bubbled up.

"Well, if you're out you better not get into any trouble! We need you on our beach trip Thursday!" She tried to look strict waving a finger the same way that her mom had before Ruby was even born. The resemblance was uncanny.

"We're not going to the beach you dolt, it's a movie night! And you better not get arrested again!" Weiss admonished.

She offered her hands up in mock surrender as she backed out of the room before the onslaught of concerned admonishment, "Hey I'll behave moms. I'm just going to get a bite to eat or something."

She was halfway out the room when Ruby couldn't resist shouting, "Have your bite to eat home by eleven or you're grounded Missy!" drawing a laugh from her as she strode down the hall. Her humour was becoming so much more dirty since she started having movie nights with Nora, that comedy spy movie was raunchy even by Yang's standards and Nora just wouldn't stop buying them.

She checked her scroll more out of instinct than anything, smiling when she saw a picture of Neo and her flashing peace signs in a club, probably her favourite momento of their "Date". A small envelope danced up and down beside the image. Opening it revealed a message from the lady of pink.

_"Hey goody 2 shoes. Wuu2?"_ Sent 2 minutes ago.

She began typing her reply as she debated the philosophical enigma of stairs vs elevator. _"Nm. Heading into town. Gotta get fresh air ^,^"_

The response was as quick as ever, _"Not getting any pussy pussy tonight?"_

She blushed a little and huffed while pushing the button for the elevator. _"Dnt want to talk about it Neo."_ As the message sent she cringed at the wording.

_"Well we won't **talk**."_ She bolded that…. Oooh definitely messed up there Yang, smooth. _"You'll type. I'll type. I won't have to whoop your ass."_ She did not just say that!

_"I asked her to dinner."_ She sent that, unable to type more as the lift arrived, stepping into the steel box she found herself face to neck with Miss Nikos.

"Hey." She offered, noticing that the redhead was every bit as annoyed as her.

"Hello. Are you heading into town?" She offered with a strained smile.

"Yeah." She offered back as kindly as possible, there was a pair of elephants in the elevator. Mostly due to the fact that they were both seriously loose lipped while under the influence and as such had became secret keepers for one another.

They both began at the same time.

"So how're things with. -" Pyrrha asked,

"What's going on with. -" Yang asked, as they both broke into a laugh that took tonnes off of their shoulders.

"Oblivious as ever?" Yang asked to a nod.

"Nothing you tried registering?" Pyrrha asked to the same response.

"I asked her to dinner tonight." Yang admitted, "She said she was showering soon." Pyrrha looked as if she was about to weep on her behalf, "but that's nothing compared to Jaune." She was trying as much to be compasisonate to Pyrrha as remind herself not to be so down on herself and barely suceeding.

But the redhead trumped her as always, "While Ren and Nora were in an arcade this afternoon, I asked if he would come to Sam Springs with me."Pyrrha blushed and fidgeted, evidently only willing tell this her story to try and cheer her u.

Yang could hardly believe her ears, miss duty and honour was really beating Jaune over the head with it, "You tried to take him lingerie shopping?"

She sighed and leant on the metal wall as they approached the ground floor, "Yes. He shut his eyes the whole time. I did get to lead him around by the hand, so I suppose that's something." Yang doubted she could resist ripping someone's clothes off if she ever got so hard up that was considered a victory.

They got off the elevator and said their goodbyes. Yang claiming her helmet form it's rack by the garage and Pyrrha heading off to the sparring fields.

The lack of signal had meant she hadn't gotten Neo's last message; _"The park; 30 mins. Dinner on me. No sap or else I'll make you naked Yin Yang :P :P :P"_ It was weird how Neo was the only one able to threaten her with confidence, even if Pyrrha trash talked before sparring there'd always be a hint of uncertainty. The thief was also the only one she'd confessed that being a huntress was boring her these days and that it felt like something was missing.

She straddled Bumblebee, sad that she had to keep her only non beacon friend secret from the others. She quickly tapped a reply as she remembered Ruby setting her up on a blind date with Neo. Had she been reeled in by an illusion or something? She sent off the message.

Across the city a man crawled weakly towards his severed arm, a pink girl in a parasol checked her scroll over the pile of lien he owed to Junior. She smiled tenderly as she saw the message from her friend, _"You wish half pint. See u soon xxx Better not be stolen money."_

With a silent laugh she realised Yang would at least be furious instead of wallowing in self pity.


End file.
